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Okay….

I haven’t been the best at blogging for you all and I apoligize:) If you read Margo’s Mischief that gives clues to what is going on. We didn’t go to W.Watchers today because we woke up late, let me  check the time of the next meeting…hold on…There is one at 12:30 I will go to that. My oldest has packed on about 40 pounds in the last 4 months. She has been put on a medication for depression 10 mgs. I don’t know if that is the cause the doctor seems sure it is not…I don’t know my husband is on to her about her weight. Having been heavier all my life I know her pain,but I am watching someone “get bigger” which I have never done before. I can’t see myself in all sides like watching someone else so it is sad to watch someone who was always athletic lose their figure.

So…

I will get her to go to weight watchers with me. I state again I am in no way promoting them etc. I hate doing points, but I have no other way because all these other games, like skipping a meal, or not eating after 2 p.m. don’t work.I have been on w.w. half my life lost 30 pounds once.

I keep telling everyone accept themselves. That has to come first. I am trying harder because my back hurts too much. I love my “TOP” parts I don’t want to lose them  *By the way it’s lower back pain and not caused by the “Top Parts” LOL.

I was also called FAT by someone for the first time in my life and it hurt very bad, even though I have seen her eating…

So here we go again I have to go get ready its almost 10 A.M.:)

Margo

Can we do this over and over

I am going to try to lose some weight only to feel less breathless and stop looking pregnant…I want to preach self acceptance above all else however. I hate diets. I feel like I am a failure when I am on a diet. When I am on points on W.W. I get obsessed with food. I don’t know how I will start this. I guess I will rejoin Weight Watchers, so I can have somewhere to go once a week, but it doesn’t stay with me long term.M

Why do you always put the weight back on?

Why is it we usually always put the weight back on? Is it that we don’t like better clothes, less health problems, and compliments on our cheek bones! What is it ? Say if we had once been in the boxing ring and we decided one day we didn’t want to get punched in the face again, would we one day walk up to someone and say “Punch my face!” That would be odd wouldn’t it? So what makes us eat when we are not hungry? What makes us give up our dreams of a losing some of the weight that holds our body down like sand bags upon our bones? I will try to think really hard so I can answer this question from my point of view. I think I put weight back on when I am at a low point when I am feeling that I don’t deserve to lose anymore weight when I want to throw water on my fire then I will stop caring what I eat. I was once 297 that is 3 pounds away from 300. I can’t believe that, but I can not brag a whole lot because I can’t get out of the 270’s now. I will because I have restarted my blog and when you write it shows you something solid. However. you can blog or whatever everyday and have one bad day and toss it away. This has to stop for all of us.We have to realize that we will have good days and bad days and we have to eat unlike drugs on the street one needs food to survive it’s a fact and no way around it folks. We have to stop giving up our hopes for a healthier body just because someone had a birthday we have to think about our birthdays!!! 

MargoImage

At least I didn’t emotionally eat today :)

I want to give myself credit for not eating just to be doing something today. I kept busy which I do believe is key. I took the kids to the pool and stayed out half a day. Then we went to watch Madea’s Witness protection and I did let myself have a small cup of blueberry ice cream. I didn’t count points or calories, but i felt happy that I wasn’t  just walking around feeling sorry for myself because I gained weight eating which was a big accomplishment for me. Tommorrow I am making a big pot of zero point soup because this is important to have something I can go into the kitchen and “Get”. I want to hear from you all !! You can do this:)
MargoImage 

Okay so let’s try to get through today !

I never got to finish my post yesterday and I am being stubborn and not going back to edit it or even add a period. So today I am trying my best to get back on a weight loss path. I had a kashi cookie and a kashi microwavable meal for breakfast 10 points thus far. I want to get back on track with everything. I think if I blog about weight loss it will make it more real. Why is it so hard for many of us to stick to our goals. I know food tastes good but we don’t know about feeling like what would it feel like to wear something really nice and be able to walk without getting out of breath? We need to feel and do more than to taste and not feel. We got used to tasting so we wouldn’t have to feel didn’t we. I wish I had grown up somewhere besides America sometimes when it comes to weight. If I had grown up in a place where eating was just natural what a joy that would have been. Say I grew up somewhere in the mediteranian. I would have known more about Hummus than some low fat snack cake. I would have loved vegtables more. I came along right when the microwave did. It was all hurry, hurry! There is no joy for me to chop and prepare food like my granny did. I rip open Weight Watcher’s boxes microwave something and find myself hungry again. I will enjoy losing weight this is my positive affrimation. MImage

HI I love myself but sometimes I wish I was ….

As I sit here I wonder what to write because many of you know where I am coming from. I often feel like why go back to weight watchers only to gain back the weight. If I don’t do something though I will get bigger. Why can’t I stop growing? I am going to be very honest in this blog because I want you to come here and if you are living a similar life, a life where just when you know you can love yourself at any size a voice nags at you when you put your clothes on that “It’s not fair.” It’s not fair that the big dress got bigger when we had hoped we would be looking smaller by now.

 

**** For so long

Most of my life I have seen people coming towards me with get thin fast ideas. I joined so many things and bought so many things and not much ever happened. I saw food for comfort, when I was bored I would eat , I would nourish myself with food, sabatoge myself with it. It is so sad something our mother’s first put in our mouth became like an addictive drug to many of us TBC

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